Jesus the Christ (Online Free Gift Offer)
By Cathy the Catholic (New Hampshire)
This review is about: Jesus the Christ (Online Fee Gift Offer)
Saw this online offer from, Jesus the Christ, I clicked on the “receive Jesus Christ as a free gift” button on the www.amazed-on.hvn I was really excited when seconds later, I heard a knock on the front door. Thought it was the UPS man, until I heard a voice from behind the door say, “If any man will open the door, I will come in to him”. I whispered, “Thank You, Mary, Mother of Jesus!” Then I opened the door and …it really was Jesus Christ! Wow! When I asked him to come in and sit on the sofa next to my live-in Landlord, the Pope. Jesus discussed with me that the Pope would have to leave before He would come in. I argued with Him about this ... and then….he mysteriously disappeared?? That wasn’t a very Christian thing to do!
This review is about: Jesus the Christ (Online Fee Gift Offer)
Just for fun, I clicked on this “free offer from Jesus gimmick”. Ha! What a joke! However, the company did send a really weird guy to my door who professed to be Jesus the Christ J I must admit the guy was a great actor. He was crying when I opened the door as if he already knew what I was about to say. I told him, "Thanks for coming, great acting. Hey, you know what? I really do love Jesus! He is one of my favorite mythical characters!" I expected the dude to smile or laugh...but He sadly turned from me and walked away....
This review is about: Jesus the Christ (Online Fee Gift Offer)
Found this “Jesus the Christ" free gift offer on my eco-green website the other day. Since it wouldn’t use up any paper (Save the Trees!!), I clicked the button (especially because the button was the color green :). As the others stated in their reviews, a certain, Jesus the Christ showed up at my door…but for me…it was at night. I was watching the stars on my back porch. Jesus said to me, "I am the light of the world" and then He said, "Let there be light!" (and whispered something like, “My first spoken words in the Bible”). I admit that I lost my temper with him right then and there!! I screamed at Him, “You are an adulteration to the word Christianity! How dare you come onto my property and demand that there be light-pollution!! Are you afraid of the dark? Get off my property…now!!!!!” Don’t bother clicking that green button!
This review is about: Jesus the Christ (Online Fee Gift Offer)
Wasup, Dudes! How r u? This is your boy, Brad the Rad, here. Anyways, waz hangin’ out on the Xtremely Crazy Games website when a free offer button suddenly appeared next to Travis Pastrana’s double back flip video. It was a sick lookin’ button with knarly edges….so I clicked it. It was really sweet to see Jesus come to the door and start talking to me! (Btw, Luv His rad, long hair…the Dude’s got a hip doo!) He invited me to be one of His “followers”. So, I gave Him a fist bump, and said, “Yeah, Man, you're on!" So he explained to me that I would need to stop living with my best girl as part of this deal he called “discipleship”! Can you believe that! Check this out, Homies, I told the Dude that I was late for my Moto-X race and zoomed away on my dirt bike while he was still lecturing me about how He invented the idea of love and sex and His plan for real happiness...or some mumbo-jumbo like that. What a Geek! What a kill-joy!
This review is about: Jesus the Christ (Online Fee Gift Offer)
Whew! Major Wow Factor! Jesus the Christ available online. I clicked the button and bing-bang-boom! There he was! I quickly opened the door, and told Him how much I appreciated the David and Jonathan story in His Bible and the way His disciples laid on his breast all the time! He started explaining something about Adam and Eve, male and female and the His invention of the nuclear family....or something like that...I was so excited to see Him I didn't listen too well...you know how it goes:) I am not really sure what He was saying about Sodom and Gomorrah because I was so in awe of Him. He probably was correcting all the hate-mongers who use that story against those of us whom God made this way. In the middle of my laughing and giggling, he turned away while saying something about “First Corinthians 6” listing categories of sinners who will not go to heaven... glad I’m not in the list…whatever the list says…
This review is about: Jesus the Christ (Online Fee Gift Offer)
I was researching on the internet the easiest, painless way to commit suicide (sorry to be so graphic, but just being honest!). I was at the bottom of the bucket – no, I was looking up at the bottom of the bucket! Really, really depressed!! Felt like no one had ever really loved me. My last boyfriend just used me and abused me and dumped me. Same ol’ same ol’. While online, the free gift offer from Jesus the Christ appeared. It seemed to throb in rhythm with my own broken heart. So, I clicked on it. Seconds later, Jesus the Christ was knocking on my garage door. It was kinda scary...but I opened the door to Him. The look in His eyes, and the kind words He spoke to me, (something like "come to me if you are weary and burdened and I will give you rest" or something like that ) broke my broken heart into a million pieces. I hugged him and accepted Him into my house from the garage door. When He came in, the darkness was replaced with light. The aroma in the house went from musty to sweet. The burden of depression lifted! He said, “I will never leave you!” I wept as I realized that He would live with me in my home forever! Friends, I wish this review software had 5 million stars that I could post in this review for Jesus the Christ! Give Him a try…you will never regret it!!!!
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